Mid-Season Review: Premier League

Hello to all, and to all a Happy Tuesday! I’m sure a lot of you (maybe 3 people tops) have noticed my absence from Can I Kick It recently. Well, no, I didn’t quit writing about soccer just because Arsenal are ass n’ cheese, – fuckers – cha boys’ just been super busy with school! After all, school comes first, then soccer, or is it the other way around? Anyways, now that I’m off school for a ~cool~ month, I’ll be back posting regularly again for the foreseeable future.

Luckily for me, I’m coming back just in time for the midway point of the season, so let’s go over some of the winners and losers thus far, along with who I think will win the Prem, who will round out the Top 4 Champions League places, and unfortunately, who will be relegated.

 

Winners Winners Chicken Parm Dinners

Manchester City

What kind of mid-season analysis would we have if I didn’t speak on Manchester City first? Man City have been absolutely superb this season, and even that may be an understatement in itself. City have a staggering 46 points (!), having only dropped points ONE time all season to Everton; how Everton, I do not know. They have an 11 point lead on the rest of the pack, and Vegas bookmakers have them at -2000 to win the Premier League. For all you virgins, that means you have to throw $200 to win a measly $10. Value. Their front three might be the best I’ve ever seen in the Premier League, and they seem to only be getting better. Expect City to continue winning, sadly.

 

Burnley 

Yes Burnley. The Burnley boys find themselves sitting in 4th place in the table at the moment, currently in a CHAMPIONS LEAGUE position, let that set in for a minute or two. Burnley are as stingy a team as they come, and are tough as nails, having only conceded 12 goals thus far. Sean Dyche has his boys boolin’ and believing, and in all honesty, I expect them to finish the season out very strong given they don’t lose anyone to injury.

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Losers

Tottenham

Well this makes things easy on me, I mean, what better way to bash your rivals than to roast them on how they’ve not nearly met this season’s expectations! Before the season started, and as much as it pains me to say this, I had Tottenham either winning the league or coming in 2nd, and low and behold, here they are sitting in 7th place, outside of the European football places. They seem to be having a hard time finding the net when it matters, and as a result they have dropped a ton of points. Although Harry Kane is only one goal behind the top scorer in the Prem, Salah, Tottenham are lacking the chemistry factor that led them to Champions League football last season. Tssk tssk Tottenham.

 

Everton

Everton, what in the world is going on!? I doubt you’re reading this but Jacob can you tell me? I don’t think anyone predicted the horrible season that Everton are currently going through at the moment. They are currently at 10th in the table, however, they were sitting in the relegation zone until Big Sam came in and started fucking up some commas. Let’s look back to August. The transfer deadline is nearing close, boom Wayne Rooney, boom Sandro, boom Michael Keane! Everton made some quality signings over the summer, yet, they couldn’t seem to get anything going for the first couple months of the season, not to mention the fact that they got absolutely humiliated in Europa League this season. I’m actually a fan of Everton, and sincerely hope that they can get their shit together.

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Champions of the Premier League:

There is just not a doubt in my mind that Manchester City are going to win the Premier League; there’s just no way they don’t. The only way I see a collapse in the making is if they advance deep into the Champions League, which is plausible, and them losing a few guys to injury. Other than that, that trophy is wrapped up, sealed, and signed for the Citizens. Fuck off @zemach, and especially to the owner of this blog (hi nico).

 

Champions of the Relegation Zone:

There are three champions of the relegation zone, and here’s who I think they’ll be:

18) West Ham

19) AFC Bournemouth

20) Swansea City

I’d literally love nothing more than for West Ham to be relegated, the shite club that they are they deserve it. Bournemouth has just been a big nothing for me this season, and I think their time to head back down is now. Swansea have been fighting relegation for like 3 years now, and there’s just no way they don’t end up playing in the Championship next season. Sorry boys, better luck next time.

That’s all for now, and keep your eyes peeled for a Can I Kick It podcast, coming soon to an iPhone near you! Stay Kickin’ it yall, except for you City, you stay kicking it into your own goal.

 

Follow for a follow? @j_kulla

 

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Jordan Kulla

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